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RuthsArc

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RuthsArc

Monthly Archives: September 2014

Time

30 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in all about me, fifty something, midlife, more to life

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me, time

“Time is like water, it always finds it’s own level”.

This is another insomnia blog post. It’s 2.30am and my mind is wide awake, even if my body does not feel the same way. My mind will not switch off at the moment, so rather than lying in bed, awake, I am listening to some soothing music and contemplating time.

I heard my Aunt say the above quote a few days ago, when I stated that my life is busy even though I no longer commute for two hours or work for seven hours in an office. How can my weekdays still be so full?

This is the end of my first month of non-employment. On occasion, it still feels as though I am “bunking off” but it definitely has a different sense to being on holiday from work.

We have not been restricted by time. We turned off our alarms and we wake to our own body clocks. We have slept longer so feel less tired. We spend time with the morning newspapers, with some online updates, or with a book. We sit down together for breakfast, take our time rather than eating on the go or whilst multitasking.

We have removed time pressures, so we are able to walk to places, rather than jump in the car. We joined a local gym and walk there each day. We are building up time on the various equipment, then have a swim, sauna, steam and jacuzzi. That takes up a couple of hours of our day, but we do not have a fixed time to go, sometimes it’s morning, sometimes afternoon. We have learnt the hectic times to avoid but we are not limited to a class timetable.

I’m drinking more tea, but enjoying it, noticing the taste, rather than drinking it unconsciously whilst focusing on a task. The same applies to a glass of wine, to our meals.

The only appointments we have set have been for social reasons, meeting friends for lunch or birthday celebrations at a fixed time and place. Lunches have drifted on through the afternoons.

I don’t often look at the clock, because it is not important now. I’m doing more spontaneous things. I saw some recipes for “cakes in cups” or “muffins in mugs” and just tried one there and then. Easy and delicious.

Time goes so slowly when I’m trying to get to sleep in the middle of the night. But now, when I am focused on something, forty minutes has gone by, the album I selected on iTunes has finished. I have written this but I have allowed my mind to wander off on tangents. (How should you punctuate with speech marks or brackets?)

There are days when I wonder if I am my own Time Lord, when it seems that I control time, that time does not dictate my day, my activities, my thoughts or actions. It is great to get lost in a task, to see where something leads, not be limited by hours or minutes. After decades of chasing time, sometimes battling against time, this is a new freedom.

Time to go back to sleep now but I don’t have to be anywhere or meet anyone until late afternoon, so if I want to sleep in to nine o’clock on this Tuesday morning, I can. Sweet dreams.

Packing up a home

27 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in making changes

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family, home, me

Usually when you move house, you know where you are moving to. You can imagine your things in the new space, mentally start arranging you furniture and ornaments in the new environment.

We are going overseas on an adult gap year. So we are packing up our house, without knowing where our next permanent home will be. We plan to rent a small place whilst in Tasmania, as we discover where our next life stage should take place. The only image we have of our next home is that it is near the sea, with a sea view.

It is interesting, sorting out the possessions that have accumulated over twenty six years of marriage and family life. Aussie Mate and I moved into a two bedroom apartment when we married. We moved in with a few suitcases, some bedding, a stereo system and some LP’s and 45’s.

The first furniture we bought was a coffee table that we sat around on borrowed garden chairs. We soon furnished the place, thanks to the newly arrived IKEA store and some unique items such as shelves constructed from pine planks and wine racks. We took a while to agree on art for the walls but we soon made the apartment feel like a home. Along with our daughters, came all sorts of paraphernalia from the obvious cot, buggy, toys, to a high chair, tricycle, roller skates to school books, musical instruments, bikes etc etc etc.

We are not hoarders. Our home is not particularly cluttered. We periodically reviewed clothes, kids toys and games. I also used my Nan’s technique of hiding things, if nobody missed them in six months then they were thrown out / given away.

Even so, when we moved into our current house after fifteen years in the apartment, we managed to fill a large removal lorry. How did we manage to acquire so much “stuff”?

Now we have lived here for eleven years and our girls have both flown the nest. Some things naturally left with them, but we still have a lot of stuff. We are trying to decide what to keep and put into storage, to guess what we will need or want as a couple, in a new smaller home. It is a cathartic process and I am glad that we are able to take our time as we sort out, to reminisce over the strangest items as we go.

1066 to 2014 in a few hundred yards

26 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in days out, my place

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100 words, day out, London, photos, WW Remembrance

Last weekend we had champagne cocktails on the 52nd floor of The Shard. Rather than pay to go to the viewing platforms on the levels 68 to 72, we paid to have delicious drinks a few levels down.

The views were spectacular with the River Thames snaking below us, ribbons of roads and railway tracks, London landmarks seen from a new angle and perspective. A relatively grey, stone coloured urban landscape coloured with patches of green, and a stunning splash of red (more below). Well worth the visit.

From The Shard, we walked along the South Bank, past HMS Belfast, Hayes Galleria, City Hall, each with its own history and story.

We walked over Tower Bridge, the iconic Victorian bridge that spans the Thames with its two towers, high level walkway and bascule or draw bridge which opens occasionally to let tall ships upstream.

On the north side of the river we walked around the outskirts of The Tower of London, a World Heritage Site.

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“In 1066 William the Conqueror established a tower here to keep the hostile Londoners at bay.” The tower was extended over the centuries as royal connections grew. Significant names throughout English history have links with the Tower – Thomas Becket, Geoffrey Chaucer, The Princes in the Tower, Guy Fawkes, The Kray twins.

Our Tudor Kings and Queens walked the corridors and pathways. Anne Boleyn was beheaded here, Lady Jane Grey was executed, Elizabeth I was imprisoned. A vivid chapter of history back in the fourteen and fifteen hundreds.

The Tower has such character with the Yeoman Warders or “Beefeaters’, the ravens, traitor’s gate, the crown jewels and the constant line of tourists.

Now an art installation is transforming the Tower and it’s moat for a few months this year. To mark the centenary of the outbreak of the First World War, 888,264 ceramic poppies are being placed to fill the moat by Remembrance Day. The poppies have been created by Paul Cummins and the setting designed by Tom Piper.

I have visited the Tower four times now since early August and have seen the sea of poppies grow with each visit. The colours change depending on the weather, a bright stunning red on clear sunny days, a more subtle red when it is cloudy. On windy days you can see the poppies sway on their metal stems, giving the impression of a field of real flowers. You see the carpet of colour but you can also see the individual poppies, each representing a life. It is a compelling visual commemoration and I feel privileged to have seen it evolve this autumn.

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Life of a dining table

24 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in my place, remembering / musing

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animals, family, home

Whilst looking through old diaries the other day, I realised that we bought our dining table and chairs back at the beginning of the century.

Although it is still in good condition, it has the marks of a well used piece of furniture. It is extendable, so it can be a small round table that comfortably sits four. Or with one additional panel, it is an oval table, suitable for six people. Or with two panels we have seated a dozen people around it with kids at a separate garden table and borrowed chairs and stools.

In our house, it has generally been an oval table, suitable for four plus the ever present pile of “odds and ends” or “bits and pieces” or letters and paperwork for filing or just “Mum’s pile of stuff”.

The kids created a lot of drawings and paintings here, but the table is scarred with small indentations from a phase of Impressionist style dot drawings.

My sewing machine as sat on it and various garments and dress up costumes were fashioned on its surface. It has seen knitting and crochet projects too.

It has seen various household appliances deconstructed and reassembled, some of them back to working order. Newspaper was required for the messy jobs and other random “Dad tasks”.

It has seen homework through all the grades, from early maths and spelling tests, to GCSE and A Level assignments. From history and geography to English literature and psychology. Early spelling lists where rather than write out each word ten times, C~M tried writing the first letter down ten times, one under the other, then the second letter ten times and so on. She wondered why she never got to remember the actually spelling of the word and failed that week’s test.

Our parrot Jade has walked across it. Our dog’s have tried to sneak food from it, sometimes with success.

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Years and years of news has been spread across the wood, in formats from actual newspaper which left black smudges from the ink, to ipad and iphones. Books and magazines have been rested here.

All types of meals have been eaten hear, quick breakfasts on the run, Sunday brunches and full English. Snacks and sandwiches, take away meals, family favourites, salads to roast dinners. Coffee and biscuits, tea and cakes. Wine and cheese over late night discussions to put the world to rights. During a growing stage, S~E created new meals to be consumed. “If brunch comes between breakfast and lunch, the there should be dinch between dinner and lunch”.

It has been the centrepiece of celebrations, birthdays, anniversaries, family reunions.

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And now our table is still oval, still with piles of stuff, seating two for meals but also serving as a desk with a Mac as we deal with all the admin required to wind up a life in the UK and begin a life in Australia.

More about past birthdays

22 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in remembering / musing

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family

At the end of a birthday weekend, I am thinking back of previous birthday celebrations. We tried to do something different each year.

Up until the age of five, the girls had family parties, with days out to the seaside, or to a zoo or castle or local historic house with an outdoor adventure playground. The weather was always favourable with pleasant autumn days.

Whilst at junior school we had parties with friends, at home with games, bouncy castles, at an indoor adventure play centre, a trip to the circus, a swimming party.

Once at secondary school and in the early teenage years, there were sleepover parties, trips to the cinema, Quasar laser tag game centre, McDonald’s, ice skating, ten pin bowling., recumbent bike hire in the park. As older teens they did trips to London, meals out, theatre shows, evenings in quirky pubs.

Although we can remember each party, some are more memorable than others. C~M had a party at Pizzas Express where the kids sat round one huge table and made their own pizza’s with a chef to help them. Aussie Mate and I sat at a separate table across the restaurant with a glass of wine, well away from the proceedings and very relaxed. Until the group of seven year olds started playing a dare game whilst waiting for the pizzas to cook. One dare ended up with tops being taken off……”No girls! Stop that!!!!”

Why are sleepovers called that? The kids don’t actually sleep! There was many a time that I read the riot act at 3am.

Whilst on skype yesterday, I asked the girls what they remember as favourite parties. They both stated the circus where the lady on the horse had purple knickers. Pizza Express was also a fond memory!

The one constant through most of these years has been “Marks and Spencer” caterpillar cake. The girls chose this same cake, year after year. Even for their Great Grandad’s 90th birthday tea, when I disappointed them by refusing to put the correct number of candles on the cake.

I know my girls are adults now because this weekend’s cake was a regular chocolate fudge cake with swirls on top. No caterpillars in sight.

Birthday present, birthdays past

19 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in remembering / musing

≈ 1 Comment

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family

Our girls were born 3 years and 9 days apart. So September is a big month in our family, with two parties usually at least one week apart.

We started a tradition of birthday decorations when the girls were small. They would wake up to find balloons, streamers, banners in the lounge and hallway. They never grew out of this, even as teenagers when they helped blow up their own balloons because I was ready to go to bed before they were.

Over the years, we have had our fair share of pink plastic gifts, Barbie dolls and house, My Little Pony, Polly Pocket, dolls with clothes and buggies, princess dresses and clip clop shoes. We tried to introduce lego, cars, but they were girls! I loved the lego but they weren’t keen. They did love bikes, skates, scooters. C~M always scooted with only one shoe on, obviously, because only one foot touched the ground.

Don’t mention glittery fairy wings, thanks to the grandparents many, many miles away. Every time the girls or wings moved, a delightful shower of glitter would scatter around the house.

The gifts changed as the girls got older. Electronic drum kit, iPhones, leather jackets, money for clothes, then just money. So “money in a box” became a regular item. We have a few gift boxes that have seen many birthdays and Christmases in our house. The boxes live in our garage for 360 days of the year but resurface for celebration days. The sliding box has been to Australia and back, with probably more care for the box than the gift it contained.

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We used to joke that the girls could have a joint 21st and 18th birthday bash. Little did we know….. We actually ended up celebrating 3 birthdays in 4 days. Three sets of decorations, 3 birthday cakes, three very different outings, family meals, parties.

S~E returned from Sydney for her 21st, along with her then boyfriend G~J (now our son-in-law). He is one year and one day older than S~E. Ok, three birthdays spread over nine days is manageable. But then C~M commented that she needed to do her 18th early because friends were going off to university before her actual birthday date.

Up went the 18th decorations in preparation for a home party and sleepover after a mystery trip around London. The kids set off from our local station with a travel card and list of places / co-ordinates, list of challenges, photographic evidence required. Start at the lions (Trafalgar Square) – at x recreate a record album cover (Abbey Road) – get photo with a policeman or soldier – group sing “I’m a little teapot” with actions – find as many 18’s as you can – do a conga – and others. They had a great time, completed all of the above and more. Back home they had Chinese takeaway, chocolate caterpillar cake, music and all crashed on sofas, mattresses.

One day to relax then down came the 18th decorations, up went the 21st and we had a lovely day out at Greenwich, the park, the Observatory, the Cutty Sark, standing across the meridian line, then champagne in a pub garden. Back home for a roast pork dinner, chocolate cake with phish food ice cream and more bubbles.

Then down came the 21st decorations and up went blue streamers, “birthday boy” balloons. A first for us! Another day out, to “Dr Who Experience” and dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum. And cheesecake for a birthday cake!?

Happy memories of three years ago. I’m now preparing for C~M’s 21st birthday this weekend and the last birthday that we will celebrate in this house.

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No internet, what’s the problem?

17 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in all about me

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curiosity, me

This morning we had internet problems. We then realized that we had no cable tv either. I phoned the customer service number for our cable / internet service provider and heard the automated message “We apologise for the technical issue in your area which we hope to resolve by 6.35pm.”

Ok, that’s fine. I am not a tech junkie, or a nerd. There are plenty of things I have to do today. I don’t watch day time tv. I can survive without facebook for a few hours.

I’ll just look at the news…. BBC and SMH
I can read our online subscription of The Times
I can listen to the new album that I pre-ordered on itunes
I can read the new free book on my kindle, that I bought on amazon last night
I can skype S~E in Sydney to see how she got on with first days of jury service
I can imessage C~M that her parcel has been delivered by “the ups man”.
I can email my query to work pension scheme
I can check the weather for tomorrow
I can check AUD to GBP exchange rate as I need to juggle birthday gifts for C~M
I can look at restaurant menus for Sunday lunch
I need to do some online banking
I can play angry birds or candy crush
I can update my blog
I can get creative with some photos on picmonkey
I can send a postcard with touchnote

Oh…..

I’ll have to listen to the news and music on the radio
Or go buy an actual news paper
Or listen to cd’s or music previously downloaded into my itunes library
Or read a real paper book of the shelf
Or text or phone my daughters
Or phone the pension people
Or play a card game, with a pack of cards
Or go into town to do my banking

So instead of the day I had planned
I did some gardening
I went to the gym and for a swim
I hand wrote some cards, went to the post office
I wrapped presents for C~M’s birthday
I drafted emails, to send later
I created this blog post to upload later

I relaxed without…..
The constant need to check for updates on facebook or twitter
The rings and beeps of a new email or imessage

The world went on regardless.

Muggles and magic with HP.

14 Sunday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in remembering / musing

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books, family, me

We grew up with Harry Potter. S~E was the same age as Harry and his friends, so each new book, each new school year was eagerly awaited. We all read the books, with later editions my Aussie Mate and I sharing one book on day shift / night shift with two books marks in place.

We travelled numerous car journeys with Stephen Fry telling the stories from the audio books. Aussie Mate uploaded a book to an early ipod and couldn’t understand why the story made no sense whilst he was decorating, until he realised the ipod was on shuffle, so chapters were being played in random order.

As a family, we saw each of the movies on big screen at the cinema, with the video / DVD being a regular Christmas present and family treat.

When the final book was published in July 2007, C~M and I queued up in town for the midnight release. There was a big crowd, a wonderful atmosphere, many dressed up in costume, shop staff wandering along the queue with free sweets and cups of water. The police presence was lively, full of banter with the crowd, the kids, the parents. We bought two copies of the book so we could both start reading it at once.

I’m not ready to part with HP yet, so all those books, cd’s and dvd’s are still on our shelves. Thank you J.K. Rowling for sharing such wonderful characters, adventures and for taking us muggles to that amazing magical world….of howlers….the night bus…quiddich…spells and potions…house elves……………..

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Old School, books or kindle?

13 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in making changes, remembering / musing

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books, family, me

We’ve always had books in the house, always belonged to the local library. I’m old school and I don’t agree with writing in books, even notes in margins or highlights in text books, but I digress.

As our girls grew up, activities obviously changed from reading to them, to reading with them, listening to them read to me (with the dreaded weekly spelling lists) and finally reading the same books they read as teenagers, to keep aware of influences in their lives and to discuss stories, characters, plots with them.

As a family we all enjoyed some wonderful children’s authors from A. A. Milne, Dr Seuss, Jacqueline Wilson, Michael Murpurgo, Anne Fine, to name just a few. And of course, J K Rowling, but in this household Harry Potter deserves his own blog post. Watch this space.

So now, as our girls have moved out and we pack up this house, I have looked over our various bookshelves and wondered what to do with their content, how best to share the books with a new audience.

I was so pleased when our local secondary school (that both S~E and C~M attended) accepted a selection of books for the school library. I had sent an email asking if they would be interested and attached a photo of the books in question (smart thinking on my part, I thought, rather than listing titles and authors.)

So some of our books are off now to a new home, for a younger generation of kids to experience and enjoy. In this age of internet and ebooks I am delighted to be able to “pay it forward” and to encourage a love of physical books in others.

Whilst on the subject of ebooks and ereaders, I held out for a long while before getting a kindle, but I admit I wouldn’t be without one now. It is ideal for commuting, travelling, reading on the beach, reading in bed, so light and easy to use. I do however, still appreciate the tactile aspect of holding a real book, of turning paper pages. Some special books that I have purchased on kindle, I have bought again in physical form, to keep, share, read again and to enjoy just walking past them and noticing them on a bookshelf.

An unexpected bonus of using a kindle, has been the wide variety of authors I have read, just because their books have been in the best seller list, or have been free, or less than £1. Many such books have been good escapism but instantly forgettable, but there have been some real gems too, which have led me on to others titles but the same author.

So, in our house, we have a mix of old school, actual books, new technology with ebooks and we appreciate them all.

Happy reading x

Age, self-image and demographics

11 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by RuthsArc in fifty something, midlife

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me

Now that I am away from full time employment I am seeing a different slice of life on weekdays.

In the past, I have dipped into different demographics on occasions – the new mum, out with an infant in a buggy, whilst on maternity leave – a mum at the school gates after redundancy, whilst looking for a new job.

Although there is a huge mix of people out and about during the week, there is a high proportion of mid life and older people. This is making me more aware of my age, my self-image versus how others will view me.

As an employed person in a big multinational organisation, I was part of a specific demographic. I commuted to work by train, with thousands of other people. Age was not important or noticed.

In a large open plan office, with hundreds of people on each floor, thousands in the building, I worked alongside some other “fifty somethings”, many “forty somethings” and “thirty sometings” and a few “twenty somethings”. We chatted about our home lives, commiserated about our teenage kids behaviours, the antics of younger children, the joy of babies, or grandkids, the changed dynamics with aging parents. We shared updates of our weekends, dates, pets, family and friends. We joked with the younger staff that some of us had been working in this industry since before they were born. But age was not a differentiating factor. We all shared a common purpose within the company.

I know in my head that I am a ‘fifty something’, an “empty nester”, that I am in “midlife”. But I don’t actually feel that age. I’m planning a gap year. I did that back in my twenties and want to do it again, as a slightly older, more experienced, wiser version of my twenty something self. I certainly don’t feel like a “grey nomad”.

But I will have to accept that is how the world will see me. My Aussie Mate still considers himself as a red headed guy. He doesn’t recognise himself as the bald guy with the white beard.

I am going off to re-dye my hair now!

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