This is an adaption of my post from 29th October last year. It feels very relevant now as we finally head off on our “adult gap year”, thinking from the position of both a daughter and a mother.
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I read somewhere about motherhood being the least secure job in the world. As soon as you get the hang of something, such as bottle feeding, it becomes obsolete and you move on to the next phase. As soon as you establish a family routine, the kids have newfound independence and opinions. But this, of course, is the point of it all – preparing your children to leave you.
The best thing about being a parent is when you see that your child is going to surpass you, that their curiosity will take them to places and teach them things that you never even thought about.
Being a parent of adult children is another phase. Your family grows through your children, you have new people to love. As couples and new family units, your children make their own decisions. We have to respect their choices, we encouraged them to see the world, to spread their wings, so we have to accept where they choose to settle and live their lives.
Roots and Wings
“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.
One is roots and the other is wings.”
If I had two wishes, I know what they would be
I’d wish for Roots to cling to and Wings to set me free;
Roots of inner values, like rings within a tree,
And Wings of independence to seek my destiny.
Roots to hold forever to keep me safe and strong,
To let me know you love me, when I’ve done something wrong;
To show me by example, and help me learn to choose,
To take those actions every day to win instead of lose.
Just be there when I need you, to tell me it’s all right,
To face my fear of falling when I test my wing in flight;
Don’t make my life too easy, it’s better if I try,
And fall and get back up myself, so I can learn to fly.
If I had two wishes and two were all I had,
And they could just be granted.
I wouldn’t ask for money or any store-bought things,
The greatest gifts I’d ask for are simple Roots and Wings
OH my you are gonna make me cry! This is beautiful and so timely as my daughter just turned 16 yesterday. The letting go part is hard as they do new things, like drive! YIKES! but it is necessary! My youngest turned 13 this winter and that was hard to, for her independence is stronger, tho it seems like just yesterday she was my little girl.
Thanks Joy. It is tough to let them go, but oh so rewarding too.
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That was beautiful! So excited to hear that you are now starting your ‘gap year’ Enjoy!
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